Kansas City!

It's impossible to have a bad meal in Kansas City because of the beef. They put slabs of Kansas City beef in everything there. Vegetarians in Kansas City have petitioned to have beef considered a sort of thick, juicy cabbage-like product. If you think about it, if you stare at a steer for long enough and they stand really still it can look as though they're growing out of the ground. Don't try to fertilize one, though. I had a wonderful time at the Majestic Theatre there, and everyone was great. The radio and T.V. interviews were plentiful and fun, and I was amazed to find out that I was the final - I mean THE FINAL guest on the historic K.C. rock station KY. They've been on the air for decades, and ... well ... right after my interview - GONE. They were turning off desk lamps and taking down Duran Duran posters as I was talking. Sorry, KY. Now it's going to be one of those disembodied computer stations called "The Boulevard," run by HAL 9000 and Lumberg. (to get the previous reference you had to have seen the movies "2001: A Space Odyssey, AND "Office Space." Sorry.)