Summer requiem

I just finished an episode of "Ghost Whisperer" as a fireman delivering a eulogy at a funeral, and boy is my ectoplasm emitting an aura calling out to be led to the light by the very photogenic. Yeah, I don't know what that means either.  Off the plane from Chicago and onto the set, I ran out to Malibu at sunset to meet my boogie-boarding family and bid adieu to a beautiful summer. Lots of travel and many hot shows, but we had a great time, and I look forward to many more amidst chilly winds and afternoon football games, until we start eating candy corn and that radio station finally goes to "All Christmas Music ALL THE TIME!"

Okay, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. 

Love from Wilson World,

Tom

Chicago!

Just got back from Chicago, where the weather was hot, but a wet heat, so you hardly feel it. The shows were steamy and great, but the highlight of the trip was my visit to the Art Institute of Chicago, where I ogled hundreds and hundreds of masterpieces, thrilled to see so many historic works of art I'd previously only seen in books. After an afternoon at the museum I did what I always do when the press interviews are finished and I have a couple of hours before showtime - I find a local restaurant and eat very much like the man above, from the Edward Hopper painting "Nighthawks." 

Love from Wilson World,

Tom

Dodgervision

We went to see the Dodgers play the Phillies, and after an inning and a half the Dodgers were losing six to one. That's when you do things like eat hot dogs and take photos of the field through the wrong end of the binoculars. As you can see in the photo, Manny Ramirez is in left field. The Dodgers then fought their way back and won it with a game winning home run by soccer Olympian Mia Hamm's husband. (I'm trying to keep the Olympic spirit going) Go USA! Go Olympics! Go fair judging! 

Note to Michael Phelps: Mark Spitz did it with a 'stache. And a cool "Stars and Stripes" Speedo, which everyone bought immediately, including me, to swim way faster at the Upper Main Line YMCA pool. In the water, I am a graceful bolt of lightning.

Love from Wilson World,

Tom 

Gentle reminder

My daughter teaches autistic teenagers, and had a "talent night" recently, where there was reading, and singing, and all sorts of joyful stuff. I read the banner on the classroom wall and thought about how many adults out there need to read it and calm down.

...Including me.

People. We are well balanced individuals. Take it easy.

Love from Wilson World,

Tom

They're Fuschia

The scene: Denver Airport Croc store.

Tom: Do you have these in Men's XXL?

Lady: (six second pause)  ...pink?

Tom: It's fuschia. That's what the tag says.

Lady: You want pink?

Tom: Fuschia. Do you have them in Men's XXL?

Lady: (four second pause) Let me look.

She did. As my daughter said - "You're the only guy I know who can pull off pink Crocs."

I love them. You got a problem with that? I didn't think so.

Love from Wilson World,

Tom

Des Moines, Iowa!

Iowa offers so much to the curious traveler: Sweet corn, a brand new shopping mall, and tornado warnings as weather races across the country faster than you can say "Corn and a mall?"

I had a great week in Des Moines, and thanks to everyone who made it great. Here's Iowa in a nutshell: I was a guest on KGGO radio two mornings in a row, and told them that I had never had Iowa sweet corn on the cob. Heather from the station came out to the club on Saturday night to bring me six ears of corn, cooked to perfection, just to make sure I tasted the best corn on earth. Iowa corn. I ate three ears of delicious corn, and put the rest in my back pocket to hand out during my show, not realizing how uncomfortable it is to hold three hot ears of corn in your back pocket while doing a show. I brought out the corn later in the show expecting a surprised laugh, and only got smiles of recognition. Of course! Who doesn't go around with a few hot ears of corn in their back pocket? It's Iowa!

Love from Wilson World,

Tom

Discount!

"Mom? Mom, are you awake? This is Chico, Mom. He's going to be caring for you! Oh, those guys? Those are Chico's homeboys. They heard you had digital cable! Mom, do you still have that coupon? You know, that coupon for the two-for-one sponge bath? Where's the coupon, Mom? And where's the remote? The homeboys want to watch "Ultimate Fighting!" Mom? Mom?!"

Ocean City, New Jersey

We went into this place for some food, but there was too much trash on the floor, so we left.

Okay, I tried that lame joke with my family on the boardwalk. Score: one laugh, two groans, and the rest ignored me and kept walking toward the rides.

Comedy. Some fly, some die.